I’m Scared

I write music all the time. I always have a song that I am working on, usually a few. They bounce around from piano to guitar for a week or so, sometimes getting caught by Logic Pro, before scuttling off to die with all the others. I always intend to go back to them and “finish” them, but I am a terrible finisher it seems. In the last 7 years I have “finished” 10 songs, despite having started ten times that.

There are a lot of things that hold me back from sharing songs more often than I do. I am scared of what people with think of the things I share. I’m scared that they aren’t worth sharing.

The curios thing is that despite feeling like this I still feel compelled to share something. I don’t understand what this is exactly. It seems somehow not enough to just write music for myself. Maybe I’m looking for validation. Maybe the fact that I find it scary is also what compels me. However, if a fear of failure prevents me from sharing then haven’t I already failed?

It also struck me recently that no one is listening. Who are these people who I am worried about judging me? They exist only in my head.

I think about my songs a lot more than anyone else. I think about every aspect of it and how it can be improved. And yet for all this I am not convinced the end result is any better than the song was when it was born.

In this spirit I am sharing this song, which is very unfinished. Here are the things I don’t like about it:

  • The lyrics all start with the same phrase – it’s lazy and repetitive
  • The lyrics are too cliché and uninteresting
  • The lyrics don’t always fit the melody (the last line is particularly bad)
  • The music is too repetitive – there is only one structure through the whole song
  • The melody isn’t interesting enough to justify six verses
  • The piano plays the same thing as the vocals. It’s redundant.
  • It’s a rip off of Videotape and Like Spinning Plates
  • The recording is too low quality
  • There a several mistakes in the recording
  • It’s too hard to hear the lyrics

However, I won’t have time or inclination to fix these things before I move on to another song, so here it is. No one is listening anyway.

Continue reading “I’m Scared”

Selling Scruff

We are sadly parting ways from Scruff, our faithful campervan. We are expecting a new addition to the family,  and Scruff only seats and sleeps four,  so he needs a new family to serve:

We have really loved owning this van. It has given us lots of pleasure and many cheap holidays. I am sure its new owner will get just as much joy from it.

Make: Volkswagen
Model: Transporter (T4)
Conversion: Autosleeper Trident
Miles: 126k (ish)
Fuel: Petrol

The van has a working Fridge, Cooker, Sink, and running hot water.  There is also a leisure battery (18 months old) for running the lights and the pump for the tap. I am including the cable for the electric hookup so you can also run 240V power inside the van.

This model is pretty unchanged from the original conversion.

If you’re interested pleased get in touch.

10 Rules for Students and Teachers

Sister Corita Kent‘s 10 Rules for Students and Teachers, made famous by John Cage, states:

RULE EIGHT: Don’t try to create and analyze at the same time. They’re different processes.

This was a revelation to me.

So often when we try to create we judge what we are making before its even had a chance to breathe and grow. I see this all the time with my children, who are too scared to try anything new for feat that they will do it wrong. We all seem to have this tendency to analyse and deconstruct any creative work we are doing at the same time that we are doing it.

To me this rule is a useful reminder to enjoy the creative process more. To be comfortable making mistakes (although according to rule 6 these don’t exist), to play with ideas and see where they take me. I hope that this attitude will allow me to be more confident in sharing what I made without fear of it being judged. I encourage you to do the same.

get.blog

In April last year we began work on a new product to sell .blog domains. We just open sourced this project. Check out the announcement from my friend and team-mate, Stéphane Thomas.

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This was a really fun project to work on. We worked very closely with a team of designers to trial some new product concepts (like passwordless signup), and were able to experiment with some interesting new technologies (like CSS modules). I am really proud of the things we achieved together. I believe that this is an great demonstration of how a team is greater than the sum of its parts.

If you want your own .blog domain, then take a look at get.blog.